Boring political post

So Kerry finally tried explain his notorious "I actually voted for it -- before I voted against it" comment regarding the 87 billion Iraq appropriation -- no doubt recently seen in a GOP ad near you. And while explaining it.. Okay, for those of you who don't know, he tried to get Bush to tie the appropriation to higher taxes on rich Americans, which Bush refused, so Kerry voted against it as a protest, knowing full well it would pass. It wasn't the most eloquent vote, and his later comment about it even less so, but he yesterday tried to explain the vote, and mentioned that it'd been late and he'd been tired when he'd made the "voted for it before I voted against it" comment.

Lo and behold, on CNN this morning, a ridiculous "gotcha" moment: Jack Cafferty says, In fact, the comment was made IN THE AFTERNOON, not the evening -- so that was a HUGE MISTAKE. But does Cafferty show anything of what Kerry actually said, or even report on it -- no, that'd be too difficult. Ladies and gentlemen... this election is a crock, and the establishment media (that means YOU, cable news shows) are to blame.

Okay, back to sex with Carol Kane.

Sex with Carol Kane

I've decided that, though I'd like to have sex with Carol Kane, I wouldn't want it to be in lieu of John Kerry being elected President. (Not that I've actually been given the choice.) I think the message here is that being obsessed with the particulars of one's own (sex) life does not help the Kerry-Edwards ticket in the swing states. (At least as far as I know.) And this has nothing to do with Carol Kane per se. (By the way, she's great in "The Last Detail," which, as far as I know, includes her only movie nude scene. Please advise if there are others.) (Okay, I seem to have gotten off the track there.)

Look, just vote for Kerry, okay? Then I can get back to my work on November 3. Thanks, I appreciate it.

So here's the thing

Okay, so I'm juggling various literary projects – a new play, a couple of half-eaten novels, a screenplay opportunistically set in London – as well as working at a full-time job and putting in a lot of overtime hours... and all I can think about is this damn election! It's swallowed my brain. It's all that's out there. But am I using it to procrastinate in all my projects? ("You know what I think, Alvy? I think you're using your conspiracy theories about the JFK assassination as an excuse not to have sex with me." -- Carol Kane in "Annie Hall") Is it true? Am I using my concern over this election as an excuse not to have sex with Carol Kane?

Blogger Advice

I've been informed that it is not necessary to post something as mundane as "just waking up," etc. This will be corrected in later posts. Please bear with me as FOJ finds its claws.

Just waking up

I'm just waking up. Nothing to report yet.

Phoning for Kerry

I did some calling for Kerry late Sunday night, but I wasn't sure of the time difference, so I think I may have woken some people up in Pennsylvania and Ohio -- and then I began yelling at them because they were BONEHEADS, just BONEHEADS! What idiots! Anyway, I guess word got back to the DNC, so I’ve been kicked out of the Kerry-Edwards campaign.

But the good news is, I got a new job with the Bush-Cheney campaign, and I’ll be phoning for them this weekend.

Et In Bloggo Ego

Now that the blogging train has left the station, I've decided to blog. I'm standing on the platform. Hello? Hello? Is there a schedule around here?

I should explain that I daily receive hundreds, maybe thousands, of requests for my blog. They come on postcards, in e-mails, in letters and and rocks thrown through my window. "Where's your damn blog, Jabes?" [Enough about the blog. - Ed.]

Anyway, welcome to Fear of Jazz (henceforth inconsistently referred to as FOJ). What is Fear of Jazz? Fear of Jazz is a spoon in a cup on a windowsill next to a cat that has recently exploded. It's the sound of a car alarm on a cereal box in a cartoon that people in Japan watch hardly ever. It's a carnation under a bridge in the drawing by a cute kid arrested for being annoying.